1 Teaspoon of Honesty

I've been suepr busy. I forgot to write for a week. I'm getting on it blogging stalkers! I've changed the format of the interview portion of my post because someone said I don't need the beginning. I got the hint. I'm changing it. I'm conforming. Again, I sound like an American or a Canadian whose still waiting for the heart to go through. Haha. I crack myself up. 

How to Make a 'Winslow' before he goes back to 

school for the Spring Semester

Ingredients:

1 Angst-filled Teenager

10-12 Acquaintances from his hometown

6-9 Best Friends

1 Boring Town

1 Typical Family

1 Cup of Drama

1 Teaspoon of Honesty

5 Gal of Boredom

1 Teaspoon of Catharsis

-1 Cup of Alcohol

1 Bowl of Life

1 Spoon to Stir

2 Eggs for Kicks

Procedure:

1. Add 1 Angst-filled Teenager, 1 Boring Town, -1 Cup of Alcohol, 2 Eggs, 1 Typical Family and 5 Gal of Boredom into a Bowl of Life. Stir till whole mixture becomes a deep grey bleak color to indicate that amount of boredom present.

2. Let Bowl of Life sit for few days until it hardens.

3. Then add 10 Acquaintances from his hometown and 8 Best Friends for some flavor.

4. Then sprinkle 1 Cup of Drama as you stir the bowl counterclockwise.

5. Let Bowl of Life sit for a few weeks until it hardens.

6. Now Add 1 Teaspoon of Catharsis.

7. Let Bowl of Life sit for one day until it hardens.

And there you have, folks. You know have a 'Winslow' before he goes back to school for the Spring Semester. Be warned, he has finally realized why he has been feeling crappy for the whole vacation. It is because he felt that he wasn't having the excitement that he got from each day that he was in college. He was getting in a cycle of seeing the same people and he realized in the beginning, when he saw old acquaintances, that they really weren't nearly as exciting and/or cool as his friends back at school.

He soon weeded out the people who he didn't really care about and he was left with his best friends, but after a constant time in which he saw them, he realized that they were very immature and they had blatant problems that COULD BE FIXED, but they are too STUBBORN TO FIX. He honestly feels that four of his friends from back home are the only ones that he takes their words to heart and not take word as something conjured up. To him, a lot of the people he knows, there is a "yea, right" factor to what they say. 

He is upset that he has acted upon his feelings and he knows that if he does say what's on his mind, it will cause more drama than he needs right now. That's you can't add that 1 Teaspoon of Honesty yet. He's not ready. He will be. Just give him some time.

Until then, you will go online window shopping and try to cherish the few days he has with the people he knows for certain will always be there for him and don't need the 1 Teaspoon of Honesty because he doesn't have to.

beeteadubs, I didn't edit. So sue me!

Listen to: Cycle Time by Liars

less and less

So you know when you are so comfortable in your bed and you don't feel like moving? That was me today. It was more about not trying to think of everything and just relaxing. I've felt like shit these past few days and its not leaving. So what I did today was stay in my bed, watch tv and feel crappy.

I was supposed to go to the city, but I had to babysit. The more I think about it, the more I know that it would be an odd event. Jaime is the reason for the event in the city and its her birthday. It sounds like a festive time, but some of our college peeps were going too and I know that I couldn't handle them for too long with how shitty I feel. Most of them are sophomoric and closed-minded which is rather ironic because they are in the Honors college. Hardy har har. Laugh it all out now.

So here is what I've got for myself right now. I'm watching Kyle XY and listening to the Kaiser Chiefs. I'll get out of this funk soon. I hope.



are (I
don't know
what I am
anymore)
you okay?

Listen to: Everyday I Love You Less And Less by Kaiser Chiefs

fall

(BEGIN SESSION #2)

Q: Name?

A: Winslow

Q: Age?

A: 18

Q: What is troubling you?

A: Nice couch you've got here. Why did I get a new one?

Q: Because they felt that they weren't making enough of a breakthrough.

A: Enough of a breakthrough? What do they want? A fucking miracle to happen? Do they want me to devote every moments of my goddamn life finding out what's wrong with me? I live my life. I love and hate it at the same time. Who doesn't? Why do I need the help? I'm just a kid. I try to act all mature and all but the fact is, that I don't know what I want to do with my life now? Who does? Then, why am I different? You are probably swimming in a pool denial and suffering, too. It's only human at this point of our lives. So you know what? Give me the fluff and analysis. Give me the condescending, non-sensual questions that MIGHT help you make a "breakthrough." I'll give some answers.

Q: Ah, we are getting somewhere.

A: Getting somewhere? I just told you I will appease you so I can get out quickly. 

Q: Definitely getting somewhere.

A: I feel like crap. You know why? Because my life is in a horrible routine and I need someone special in my life.

Q: Go on.

A: I've got nothing. 

(BREAK)

Q: Time is up.

A: Woe is me.

(BREAK)

Listen to: If One Of Us Should Fall by The Slip

Recommendations #1

All blogs have this. The whole "lets recommend something cool for you to check out" and I'm going to recommend 5 things this week. I think I will do these from time to time. These are the highlights of my week. You don't have to like them but I'm going to say them anyway:

1. Band I've been addicted to:

Vampire Weekend

(I love these guys they aren't your usual indie rock band. They have a new light to bring to the musical scene. These New York City Rockers incorporate british rock, afro beats and raw melodies to make their unique sound. Vampire Weekend hits stores on 1/29.)

2. Youtube Video I loved this Week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UJ5MQY83RM

(Zach Braff + Good Cause = Witty Comedy)

3. Favourite Music Video of the Week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Tc1fHRKTS8

(The White Stripes - Conquest)

4. Website to check out:

Blogger.com & NME.com

  (Blogger.com for the amazing blogging that I'm addicted to right and nme.com, a great site to check out music that you SHOULD already be listening to.)

5. Things you should already know about:

Girl Talk & The Cool Kids

(If you don't know about Girl Talk then I'm sorry but you are a little lost in life. Check them out their music to make the best party mixes known to mankind. The Cool Kids are self-explanatory. Creativity + Great beats + Something to bump to = The Cool Kids.)

Listen to: All of the above

Putting a Nickname on Love

(BREAK)

Name?

Winns.

Age?

Eighteen, brother man.

Why do you go by the name, Winns?

I don't know, man. This nickname started in High School in maybe 10th or 11th grade. My name is pretty epic, but people tend to shorten it and I adopted it as my own. I like the nickname and I think it suites me. I'm avid supporter of nicknames. I've noticed that with people that have affected my life in some way, I give them a nickname. Obviously some names can't just be turned into nickname because they are already to short or their names would have ridiculous nicknames, but I tend to love a nickname or two.

What are you afraid of?

I was afraid of the dark for a large portion of my life. Not like, I need a night light, but if the whole house or area was dark and I had to be go into it, I was afraid. I think it is because I like to be secure with every situation I am presented. Besides that, the only thing I'm really afraid of is getting old. Hey, I don't want to be inept when it comes to mundane activities but who doesn't.

Have you ever been in love?

No, I haven't. 

No follow-up?

What is there to say? I've been with people and when I look back on it, I don't think it could ever be called love. I don't know what definition of love I'm looking for, but I haven't found it yet. Maybe I can understand love better if I experience it but is it really true love if I just experience it and not spending the rest of my living days with that person? What if I missed my chance at love? I don't know what to feel about it because Love and I aren't usually in the same sentence.

Interesting. Going on the emotional side, when was the last time you cried?

Hmm. I don't know. Let me think. First off, I don't usually cry. I usually get frustrated with life and when that's too much, then I cry. Everyone cries, but I don't do it much. A good cry is good for you sometimes. Feels like it cleanses the soul or is just something to prolong the suffering. Big deal. I remember the last time I did cry. I was very frustrated one night about my current situation in life and talking to my friend Sarah Perez and I just started crying on the computer. It was sudden. I don't know what came over me, but it happened. The funny thing is that the last time I cried before that, with some real feeling behind it, was when I had to say by to her before going to college. I don't cry much but when I do, its got some feeling behind it.

No witty title for his blog entry?

Psht, I'm too lazy, kids. Make one yourself.

That's a bit harsh?

I know what's a bit harsh? Life. Haha. I crack myself up sometimes. (I did anyway)

(BREAK)

Listen to: Crying Shame by Jack Johnson

Dirty Mouth

I'm not giving anything new today. I'm lost in a world of eras and friends. I saw Factory Girl yesterday and the only thing I really got out of it is that I hate Andy Warhol because he is SUPER overrated and that Sienna Miller is a different level of hot. She took up the whole screen with every scene and it was a breath of fresh air. Even if the movie was alright, she knew how to demand attention with each dance, each outfit, each tear and each smile. 

"You're the boss, Applesauce."

Today was very fun with my allotted friends and we got Starbucks, then borders then Applebees for half price apps, but I di

dn't get that. I got the quintessential order, the staple of all diners and restaurant chains: The Chicken Finger Platter. I've got that order so much that last summer I decided to order something different every time and not get the Chicken Finger Platter. Our night was made spicier when an old flame of our friends came to the same Applebees. Hey, you can't blame fake, Republic trash, right? Oops. Did I say that? Yep. Not taking it back.

People have to realize that with some of the "friends" I had in High School, I was only amicable because I'm nice and I don't want to start drama with them. Now, I don't give a flying fu

ck about what I say them because people come and go and I would rather see them go. That goes for some of the members of a penta-group. Come and get it, kids.

You probably think this is all wrong of me to say all of this, but its not. You do the same thing. Everyone does. The difference between me and you is that I will will have the strength to say it to their immature faces. I'm not the one with the dirty mouth.

Listen to: Dirty Mouth by Hot Hot Heat

Bros

(BREAK)

Hello. Name please?

Winslow

Age?

18 and half, I suppose.

Aren't you too old to say fractions in your age?

Age is just a number. Get over it, Chief. I'm telling you my age and I shouldn't have to validate that for you.

Okay. Favorite color?

Blue. Isn't that lame? I'm a conformist when it comes to favorite colors. I wish maroon and shit-green got more of a chance in this world. I used to like teal, but I felt that was too non-conformist back in the day, so I got simple and predictable. Go figure. I get out of my safety zone, I get scared and go back to comfort. I sound like a true American.

Funny, aren't you?

Funny. No. Honest. Hell yea!

Name a good friend of yours.

Umm, let's go with Jesus.

Jesus? You don't know someone named Jesus.

Ha, do you know where I live?

Let's get serious, Winslow. Name a good friend of yours.

Okay, let's go with _____.

What do you like about _____?

They are honest and can hold a conversation. What else do you need in a friend?

Do you trust them?

I think so.

Why aren't you positive?

Nothing is certain in this world. This might be a weird way of see it, but I identify with my friends because I could stop talking to most of them, for years, and pick up where we left off. Of course I have friends just to have friends. Everyone does. At least I admit to it. All I know is that if I consider you a good friend of mine, you would know. You would know because I would make fun of you and you won't get mad. Making fun of people is just sugarcoating critiques. You would know because you know I would do anything for you because my friends are my life. You would know when we laugh, cry, dance, work and live. You would know that no matter the factors we are put in, we will stay in touch and still be able to share a laugh or discuss a band or debate about politics. You would know.

What did you do today?

I hung out with my friends Chris, Henry and Kat. I don't know Kat as much, but she can definitely become one of my best friends because she is the best thing to happen to Chris. He's happy and if a good friend is happy, then I'm happy. Henry is one of my best friends and he knows. We both know it. We're bros.

I've got no more questions for this session. You may go.

Wait! What's your favorite color?

Umm, blue.

Damn, you conformists!

(BREAK)

Listen to: Bros by Panda Bear

Wells Fargo Wagon

Today was very weird day in my world.

My day started:

1;; Woke up.

2;; Shower.

3;; A run. (Winslow? Running?! It was a sight, to say the least)

4;; Shower.

5;; Go on the usual sites online. (Myspace, Facebook, Ny Times, etc.)

[Find out that my college didn't receive my check to pay for school.

WHAT?! I was very ticked off about the fact that this didn't go through so it involved me calling my school and being on hold for I think an hour and figuring it all out with my dad which ending up with my dad going to my college to duke it out with some annoying financial aid peeps. So. Where was I? Oh yea.]

6;; Get little brother from Bus stop.

[He is in kindergarten and of course he needs to be picked up from the bus stop. Mind you, that it is cold and my dad told me to go outside around 3:15 or so to wait for the bus. And in true, the-world-hates me-but-you-all-saw-this-coming fashion, the bus comes around 3:30. My brother walks out, all jolly and just says, "It's cold outside, right?" and all I can say is, "You said it, kid."]

7;; Dance party with my little brother.

[I have dance parties. Everyone has dance parties. Some are with a few friends listening to your guilty pleasure songs and others are alone and you blast the music to get some emotion out. I'm emoting. Go figure. So we listen to some jams and I take some polaroids. Aren't we cute? It's actually nauseating.]

7.1;; Listened to Wells Fargo Wagon during dance party

[That song is from the musical, The Music Man. I don't like that musical very much, but it is such a happy musical in the sick, perfect world kind of way. This song from the musical was very annoying for me to sing. I don't know why. It was almost as bad as Gary, Indiana for me and that song is dreadful. The song is about this Wagon that brings items of value to the people of the town and the excitement of getting an item off this delivery contraption. The director put us into character by saying to imagine Santa coming into town and you might get the gift. Mind you, he was saying that to like 30 HS students and like 50 or so kids. Santa Claus. Pshht. The song made me really think for once. Get something handed to you out of luck is not what you want out of life. You should leave room for a mistake, you know? It's the new year. If you don't go for that item of great value in your life, you might miss out and the person next to you might get it. Don't chicken out kids. Santa Claus isn't coming this year.]

8;; Play Super Mario Sunshine

9;; Dropping by GSG Rehearsal

10;; Friend's House

11;; Home

I think that was an eventful day. I just got to remember that life isn't meant to be discovered on your Wells Fargo Wagon.

Listen to: Wells Fargo Wagon & Smile Like You Mean It by the Killers.

Drunk Girl

(BREAK)

Name?

Winslow

Age?

18

Relationship Status?

Single and ready to mingle! (I would NEVER say that out loud. It is for comical use)

Would you ever seduce someone just because they were intoxicated? 

I would never, ever do such a thing. Even if I make to the my lowest of lows, I will not resort to such disgusting ways. 

Have you ever faked being drunk?

I did once. I was acting more drunk than I really was at the second Frat party I went to college. Why I did it? I really don't know but it felt right in my head. After that moment, I've never done it again. I'm trying to impress people with how drunk I am. Now that's a funny statement.

Have you ever kissed a drunk girl?

Yes, I have and I will do it again.

Why do you say that?!

Hey, nothing is set in stone. I thought the decision was good at the time. I know it doesn't excuse me at all, but situations arise when a kiss is the only thing to validate the moment. I'm not one of those guys that goes around raping woman or being a douche or anything, but sometimes you've got to just kiss the girl. For your sake and hers, you've got to kiss the drunk girl.

That will be all 

(BREAK)

Listen to: Drunk Girl by Something Corporate

Again and Again

I am a pensive character. That is my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. My actions and words are chosen carefully and benefit to my well-being, I believe. On the same token, this tedious thinking process has prevented me for truly acting out a deed in the right timing. I don't think that makes much sense to you, but I've decided to say like that. It's the Mind thinking, you know.

I've been pondering about this past year and I've decided that I need some change. I know a lot people say they will change with the new year and they end up losing their way around March or April. I think it is a bad quality to go back on your New Year's Resolution. What's the point of making a goal and knowing you will fail in a few months? It is silly in my head. I'm sorry if it is mean of me to say, but someone's got to say it.

My New Year's Resolutions, yes plural, are as followed:

1. Lose weight
(This is a cliché but I need to lose some pounds. I don't know how or how to even start but I have to. I hate being insecure with my weight. Something I have to do. Sorry for repeating myself.)

2. Read more books
(I want to read more of the "classics." Very self-explanatory.)

3. Write in my blog readily/very often
(Read above. If you don't get it, you are a dimwit.)

The completion of these goals aren't just wants at this point. They are almost needs. When you start giving up or thinking of giving up in February, I will still keep going. Hey, I feel like I should be writing more thought-provoking writing or quote someone like Whitman in this blog. Something layered with bullshit which will basically tell you to be optimistic in a pessimistic world. But, I'm not. I'm giving you me, Again and Again.

Listen to: Again and Again by The Bird and The Bee
(I think I will recommend a new song for each post)