On a Train

You know what I want to do?

I wanna try something new.

Give me something! 

I'm all ears, kids.

I had a conversation

with my good friend, Sarah

tonight and don't you love 

those friends in which you

don't have to talk to them for weeks

and you can just pick up like 

everything is fine and dandy?

I love that feeling. Sarah thinks

I need to take more risks with

my love life. I think I do

but, I don't know where to begin.

I

   told

      her

         that

I'm

   lost

      in

         a

Sea

   of

      lost

         chances

and

    uncertainty.

She said great line. It's 

my life. It's my life. I

wish it just a good line.

I also talked to my friend

Rich tonight and I really hope

I stay close to some people 

even when I "grow up." Hope 

is all I got.

I just finished listening to John

Mayer and most people don't like 

him, but I love his music and it

makes me feel good. That's what I

need right now. I need to start

feeling truly good again. I need to

find that.

Listen to: Stop This Train by John Mayer

Friday Night

Naked Dance Party is all I need in my life right now. With the cool peeps names Tiel and Drew, then Keith and George. I'm going to see Godspell tomorrow and that should be fun. Also, I just wanted to say to 98% of Long Island girls is "All I hear is blah, blah, blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

Listen to: Pop The Glock by Uffie

The Truth

You can't handle the truth. You see, I am blunt. It's my claim to fame but I still have a level of understanding that you are a person. Sometimes, but the point is, I say what's on my mind or that's what people think. I'm too afraid to live up to my own thoughts. I want to say it, but I think it is too much. This goes along with the idea that I don't think anyone really knows me. I'm not afraid of what people will think. I'm afraid that I don't have enough justification in my thoughts. I'm just a mess. I am a mess because I need someone or something to bounce my ideas off of and I got nothing. Maybe, I can't handle the truth of my own thoughts and life. Everyone who thinks this is plea, go fuck yourself. I'm rattling off thoughts. I'm not looking for pity. Half of my friends do that and that's not me. At least I know the difference, assholes.

Gin and Tonic

I haven't posted in a decade. Here is my life right now. The Giants won the Superbowl. That's exciting, but you already know that, right? Nothing new, right? I thought so. Hmm. I have three Drama classes this semester and I know why I want to do this for the rest of my life. Is that cool? New and exciting for you? Nah, I don't think so.

One of my good friends is living in Colorado now because of reasons I do not know. Another friend of my mine is a stubborn fool that is too afraid to see that her has to grow up a little. I can just imagine how mad he would get if I said that to him, but I don't have to. What's the point? It will go in one ear and go out the other. Why can't people understand their flaws and deal with them? I admit to my problems. I don't tell anyone how I really feel that's not good at all. I don't think anyone really knows me, but at least I know I have to fix it. At least I don't deny it. At least I don't complain about everything that comes in my life and blame ultimately on someone else. I'm not ridiculous. They are and they will realize it when they are alone. Bleak enough for you? Nah, I don't think so.

The Election is going on. We need change. Anyone? Not even one hand? Not even something new and exciting? Nah, I don't think so. 

I need some Gin and Tonic. That would be fun. Sarcasm! One of the great things I still have in my life. 

Listen to: Flathead by The Fratellis