déception finale

Disappointment sucks and I've felt it way too much this summer, I guess my whole life. There are always brighter days ahead, that's what everyone tells you when you feel that way. I know it is not the end of the world. I want to believe that I will be happier today or the day after or soon, but for right now, I don't understand my life and why it is this way. I want to know why. Jeez, I just sick of this feeling that's been drifting in and out of my life these days. I'm done planning my life out. I've stop predicting because it just worries you, but I've tried to change that stuff away from me, but what now? I look the world in a different light and nothing has changed. Nothing at all. I am at a lose. Why am I getting fucked over by people? I want to understand that, but I won't any time soon. If you have an answer, tell me because I am all ears. I am all ears to everyone and anyone. Tell me how you really feel about all this and me as a person. That is my challenge for all of my friends? But then it just looks like I am at the mercy of all of you and I don't want that. I shouldn't be talking about wants. I don't even really know what I want besides this stupid, stupid feeling to go away. This was a rant in a half. I am sorry. You probably won't read it.