absurd. happy. spring.

I want to thank my best friends for caring about me and making me feel better when I'm being irrational. They gave me a new light on what I was feeling and made it better for me. It's not an instant switch from sad to happy, but it's definitely a turn for the better on my part.

I am silly for not noticing that I was digging myself into oblivion. I need that hit in the head and I got something. We discussed absurdism to a degree in one of my class and it made me think about a lot of stuff in my class. The structure of absurd-ist play is that the beginning of the play is similar to the end of the play. There is change, but the characters don't seem to get out of this cycle. We talked about how when you ask someone the question, "How are you doing?" people rarely tell you how they are really feeling. 9 out 10 times, you will get a generic answer like good or alright. The point that made me think is that absurdism brings up the idea that people try to avoid to expose themselves to other people and impose themselves on other people. I have been doing that. I've been avoiding certain issues and going through the cycles. I have to stop. That is one of my biggest issues. I am addicted to the status quo. At least I am admitting to it.

Next time you ask me something, I will give you a straight forward answer and not have "nothing conversation" that there is a need to find a connection in the conversation when there really isn't. I will try not to go through the motions anymore.

Today was a beautiful day. I love Spring. I can read outside. The best feeling in the world. Read a book or play in the shade of a tree and take in the world. My kind of day. I want to thank some of my friends for listening and giving me the best advice ever. Thank you Henry and Kris for caring and coming up to me. Thanks Becky for listening and going on a walk today.

And you, I tried. We will see.

Listen to: Razor by Head Automatica.