paper planes

I am a bad friend. I should tell people what I feel with them. I like thing brew in me. I feel so lost without being able to say something about it. I over analyze everything. Why do I let that take over everything in my life. I cross examine every action and character in my life and because of that, I think I become way too judgmental. That is my problem. I don't think I am perfect in anyway because I am one of the most insecure people out there, but I do judge and I am sorry I don't tell you. I really am, but its not that easy.

I am sorry that I can't take off the standards I have some people. I am sorry that I keep everything on file in my head. I am sorry I have been such a whinny bitch recently. I am sorry that I'm not being the friend, the down to earth person I used to be. I have changed a lot. I am high right now. That is one change that has happened to me. I still don't know how to take it in, but I like it. 

I am also sorry that you have so many stigmas about you. I am sorry some of you can't see the errors of your ways. I may be this or that, but you still got deal with yourself because some of you are like a train wreck. You can't turn your head, but its so horrible to watch. I am sorry I can't trust you anymore. I am sorry you try way too hard to be someone you aren't. I am sorry, but I am not the only culprit of wrongdoings.

I am happy that summer is so near. I don't want to spend it with certain people. I want to travel and see what people will actually write. I have a problem with some of my friends. I have to always start the conversation and why can't they? Why can't they see that it is a little fucked? Why can't they see that it fucking hurts to see it happen all the time and you know it will happen again and you see it happening in front of your eyes? I just don't know.

I am rambling, but I need to leave. 

Somewhere. Nice. Quiet. 

For a day. Or a week.

Or a month.

I want

to kiss

someone

again.

I am 

being an

emo asshole.

Look at me.

I am sad. 

I am 

pathetic.

Sorry.

Fuck me.

yep. sleep.